This is a tearjerker.  It was sent to the Dr. Diana Bowman Center and although I've read it several times over the years, I cry everytime.  Unfortunately, this happens way too much.





By Jim Willis, 2001
How Could You?

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called
me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw
pillows, I became your best friend. ...
Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but
then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.
My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy,
but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and
listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not
be any more perfect.
We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only
got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in
the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time
searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through
heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped
with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.
She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home,
tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.
Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by
their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you
worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another
room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of
love."
As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled
themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and
gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because
your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if
need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret
dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.
There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a
photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years,
you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to
"just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be
moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for
your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled
of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I
know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look.
They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."
You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed, "No, Daddy!
Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had
just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and
about respect for all life.
You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to
take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one,
too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming
move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their
heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They
feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago.
At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you
that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it
would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.
When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy
puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I
heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the
aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room.
She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart
pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief.
The prisoner of love had run out of days.
As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs
heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I
licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago.
She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the
cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes
and murmured "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me,
and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where
I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself --a place
of love and light so very different from this earthly place.
And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail
that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved
Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May
everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

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A Note from the Author:
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If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as
I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly
"owned" pets who die each year in American and Canadian animal shelters. Anyone is
welcome to distribute the essay for a noncommercial purpose, as long as it is
properly attributed with the copyright notice. Please use it to help educate, on
your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards.
Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for
life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another
appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society
or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious.
Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay and neuter campaigns
in order to prevent unwanted animals. Jim Willis